Sunday, August 16, 2009

Most Embarrassing Moments

Did you ever have a most embarrassing moment that you wish never happened? Here are three embarrassing moments from my younger days that I want to share with you.

When I was around 12 or 13, we had a family get together at one of my aunt and uncle's house. It was a nice summer day and we were having a cookout. Many of my family members were sitting out under a group of shade trees, talking and joking around with each other.

Me and my cousins, Diana and Karen, decided we wanted to swim in our aunt and uncle's pool. I didn't have bathing suit so I borrowed one from my aunt Lorraine. (This turned out not to be such a good idea, let's just say that she had a lot more on top than me).

The three of us were having a good time playing and splashing around in the pool. We had a beach ball that we were hitting back and forth to each other. I jumped up to hit the ball and went under when I landed. When I stood up, I had water streaming into my eyes and I couldn't see (side not, I am also very near sighted and without my glasses, I'm blind as a bat). I was close enough that I could see and hear Diana and Karen laughing their a**** off. I asked them, " What's so funny?"

They didn't answer me, they just kept on laughing. Water from my hair was still running into my eyes and I still wasn't able to see anything. I was also still trying to figure out what they thought was so funny. I could see some of the other family members sitting outside were staring at me, too. I still didn't know why until my aunt Barbara hollered from the back porch step, "Hey, Lana, are you going to stand around all day with your boobs hanging out?"

I looked down and to my horror the bathing suit top had gone to the middle and sure enough my breasts were hanging out for everyone to see. I quickly pulled the bathing suit top back over them and gave my two cousins (who were still falling over laughing) dirty looks. My aunt Barbara pinned the bathing suit top real tight for me and it stayed in place for the rest of the time I was swimming.

I can laugh about this now but at the time I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

The next embarrassing moment happened about four or five years later when I was in high school. My boyfriend, Blake was at my house and we were in my room listening to music. My parents had gone to bed early (my dad was and still is, a truck driver for McKee) because my dad had to leave out the next day. My sister, Lisa and our cousin, Diana were in the living room watching tv.

It was about ten o'clock when someone knocked on my bedroom door. I thought it might be one of the girls but imagine my surprise and shock when I open the door and see my mom standing there - - naked! I tried to keep myself in front of her so Blake can't see her. My mom was looking at me like I was stupid as I bobbed around trying to stay in front of her.

She said, "You need to turn that music down. It's too loud and I can't sleep." (Side note here, our stereo console was one that was in a cabinet, it was about three feet long and a foot wide. It had a record player, radio and an 8-track tape player (some of you may be too young and don't know what this was, lol). It was located by bedroom door.) My mom reaches around me, turns the music down and that is when she sees Blake lying on my bed. She turns beet red and hurries back to her room across the hall.

I turn around to see that Blake has his head leaned back on my bed with one arm thrown over his eyes. His face is as red as my mom's was. I knew without being told that he'd seen my mom naked. I could hear Lisa and Karen in the lviving room laughing. They had seen everything.

After Blake left, my mom came into the living room where all us girls were. She asked Lisa and Karen why they didn't tell her Blake was still in my room. They said they tried to but she was so mad she didn't hear them. It seems my mom thought it was after midnight and that Blake had already left.

For many years after this, it embarrassed my mom and my boyfriend (he ended up being my husband of course, now he is my ex-husband) to mention this. At the time when it happened, I didn't think it was funny but now I can look back and laugh about it. I have even told my kids the story of their dad seeing their grandma naked. They think it's pretty funny, too.

The last embarrassing moment I am going to share with you happened when I was 10 yrs old. I had been outside playing and when I came in, my dad was sitting on the couch in just his underwear reading a newspaper. He was scratching himself and I said quite casuallhy to him as I walked on to my room, "Whatcha doing, dad, masturbating?"

Mind you I didn't know what this word meant. I had just finished reading the book Summer of '42. Hermie and his buddies did this in the book but I only thought it meant scratching, I had no idea, at the time, what it meant. (Side note: If you have never read this book or watched the movie, you should, they are both very good.)

My mom came to my room and asked me if I knew what that word meant. When she told me, I never wanted to face my dad again. I couldn't BELIEVE I had asked my dad if he was doing that. It took a while for me to look my dad in the eyes. I wonder if he even remembers it? I'm hoping that he doesn't.

Years later, my mom told me that when I said that to my dad ,his eyes bugged out and his face turned bright red. I wish now I could have seen it. I bet it was a funny sight.

Thanks for reading this. I hope you got a laugh out of it. Once again, I have changed all names to protect the innocent. If you'd like to share your most embarrassing moments stories with me, I'd love to read them :o)

This would also make a great writing prompt or exercise. So sit down and think about your own most embarrassing moment(s). Even if you never share it with anyone, it might get your creative juices flowing. It sure did mine :o) You never know, you might be able to incorporate an embarrassing moment into one of your fiction stories.

Have a great day and keep on writing :o)


Saturday, August 08, 2009

My First Love

Do you remember your first love or crush? I remember mine like it was yesterday. I wrote an essay about it and I wanted to share it with you. All names have been changed to protect the innocent :-)

My First Love

My first love was Cole Morgan. I was twelve and he was a couple of years older. He would come over and haul hay for my dad during the summer.

He always wore blue jeans and a T-shirt that he would eventually lose because it was too hot to wear. I made every excuse I could think of to go to the hayfield. I took the guys water, lemonade, sodas, et., just whatever so I could stare at Cole.

This was funny to my family because I have always been more of an inside person. I spent most of my time in my room with my nose stuck in a book. Except when Cole was around, I was outside where he was.

Cole had light brown hair, gorgeous blue eyes, and a beautiful smile. I never did talk to him other than to say "Hi," or "Would you like a drink?" We made lots of eye contact and shared many smiles between us.

I was not the only one who had a crush on Cole. My sister, Lisa and our cousin, Diana both had crushes on him, too. We formed our own Cole Morgan Fan Club and got those goofy pirate hats from Long John Silver's and wore them during our meetings. We sang songs that were about other people but we substituted his name in where their names were at. We called his house and if he wasn't there we would talk to his older brother, Tyler. My siser would pretend her name was Stephanie and ask Tyler if Cole liked any of us. It always broke our hearts when Tyler would't know who were and tell us that Cole never mentioned our names to him.

If our parents had to go to Cole's house for any reason, we made sure we got to ride along, just on the slim chance we might catch a glimpse of him. We also had to pass his house to go to our grandparents house so we always made sure to go to their house, too. Even though it was really boring there because we weren't allowed to do anything. (Side note: Both of my dad's parents had diabetes and they never felt well so we weren't allowed to act like kids at their house. We had to sit quietly and do nothing or watch whatever boring program they were watching on tv. I usually brought a book along to keep me occupied.) You can see just how bad we had it for Cole by submitting ourselves to that torture just on the off chance he was at home AND outside when we drove by.

Then we found out he worked at the sale barn in town. We went with our parents to the sale. Our cousin Diana was with us that day. We were wandering around outside, looking at the cattle in the pens when I spotted Cole. Diana couldn't see him so she climbed up on the fence to get a better look. Somehow she lost her footing and began to fall. She yelled out Cole's name as she was falling. It embarrassed all of us but especially my mother because the rest of us ducked down so he wouldn't see us. He thought she was the one who had yelled at him.

My parents were members of the Watts Riding Club and we went to rodeos every summer. One night at the rodeo, Diana and I were riding our horses around outside of the rodeo grounds and we saw Cole's brother, Tyler riding toward us. Diana asked him,"Where's Cole?

Tyler replied," At Beaver Lake.

Diana didn't hear him and said," Out on a date?"

"At Beaver Lake."

"He's on a date?''

"No, I said he's at Beaver Lake!"

"Oh, he's at Beaver lake." We rode away on our horses, giggling. Tyler probably thought we were deaf AND crazy.

I saw Cole about 15 years ago when I was working at a fast food place. He had changed a lot and was definitely not the cute boy I remembered from my childhood. I had heard from others that he had seen a boy drown at Crystal Lake (no, not the the one from the Friday the 13th movies) when he was around 16 or 17 years old and that he'd got into drugs really bad. I think I saw a light of recognition in his eyes, but I just pretended that I didn't know who he was.

Every once in a while when I pass a hay field, I think of Cole (the boy he used to be) and I long for those days -- to be a child again and have this whole wide world to look forward to.

I hope you enjoyed my story. It is all true, except I changed all names to protect their privacy.

Have a great day,


p.s. I forgot to mention -- Cole caught my eye because he was cute, had a nice body, and was just plain fun to look at :-) If you'd like, tell me about your first love/crush and the goofy things you did to catch their eye and get them to notice you. I'd love to hear your stories!

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Writing Prompts

Make up your own bumper stickers. Take 10 minutes and think of as many as you can. Later on you can add to your list if you'd like.

Here are the ones I came up with:

One Hot Mama Behind the Wheel

Follow Me to Paradise

Honk If You're Sexy AND Rich

READ: It Makes You Smarter

READ: It Exercises Your Brain Cells

K.I.S.S. - Keep It Straight, Stupid

B.O.B. - Blonde On Board

Blind Date = Sheer Torture

CAUTION: Hot Mama Behind the Wheel

S.O.W. - Sexy, Older, Wiser

CAUTION: Major Hottie Behind the Wheel

CAUTION: This Vehicle Stops at All Bookstores

Ok there's my list of bummber sticker sayings. If I think up more I will add them here.

Please feel free to post your list in my comments section. I'd love to see what everyone else can come up with.

Here is another prompt for you:

Take 2o minutes and write about the worst present you ever received.

Here is my worst present story:

The worst present I ever received was the one I got from my husband (now ex) on our first Christmas together as a married couple.

I was very excited when I got up that Christmas morning. I just knew my wonderful husband had got me the greatest gift ever!

The first give I opened was a stuffed Panda bear. It was cute-wasn't what I was expecting but not bad either. I had collected stuffed animals when I was younger. So at least it was something personal.

My heart was beating fast when he brought out a big package for me. I was like, oh my gosh, what can it be?

Imagine my shock and disappointment when I discovered my gift was a . . . VACUUM CLEANER!

I kept asking him where my real gift was and he said that was really it. I think I ended up crying. I was four months pregnant at the time and very hormonal. I couldn't believe the gift he gave me was so impersonal. I obviously kept the gift but during the rest of our ten year marriage, he NEVER bought me another appliance as a gift again.

I hope you enjoyed my story. Feel free to post your worst gift story in my comments section. I'd love to hear about the worst gifts others received. I'm sure some of you got worse ones than I did.

Thanks for reading and until next time, stay safe and keep on writing :-)


P.S. I forgot to mention that I got these writing prompts from Writer's Digest website. If you'd like to find lots more prompts to choose from go to